Silence can be used as a weapon … to withhold love.
Silence As A Weapon
11 Tuesday Dec 2012
Posted in SILENCE
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11 Tuesday Dec 2012
Posted in SILENCE
Silence can be used as a weapon … to withhold love.
very true
Sad but true.
Gigi
Communication removes all toxic silence… /it’s better to have said and not being responded than not having said at all…
True. But then silence could not be used as a means to withhold love, which is the whole point of it.
Absolutely…. unfortunately…!
Yes, quite unfortunately.
Thanks for your comment.
G
Perfect.
Although the Buddha spoke of ‘blessed silence’, a toxic form exists, too, as you observed. Thanks for this.
Hallo Kit
My family employed silence to express disapproval and a withholding of love, care and affection. The ‘silence as a weapon’ conditioning allowed me to do the same in my adult relationships (poor bastards).
From personal experience, it is the result of pain felt and then thoughtlessly inflicted on those whom you feel caused you the pain (reaction). It is a basic inability to openly communicate hurt feelings without attack or blame.
Having grown up with this type of silence since I was a child with a beginner’s mind, love consistently withdrawn from me by those entrusted with my care created deep corrosive ruts in my heart.
As an adult, it was frustrating not to be able to point at a severed limb, say, to have my wounds ‘seen’ and acknowledged. There can be great release in these two.
The toxic silence continues to be inflicted on me by family members today. It is unlikely to change and I have freed myself from the expectation.
But this silence is a different experience for me now. I am able to observe the effect it is having on me internally (very much muted now – ha, inadvertent pun) with less anguish and more detachment, and I am able to observe the nature of the protagonist in her action(s).
In this way, I see myself as quite lucky. For there was always the potential to perceive these people as teachers, myself as the student, and the lesson repeatedly offered to me as a gift. It has only been in recent times that I have been aware enough to receive this gift with an open and grateful heart.
Of course, it would still be nice not to have to watch the hamsters on the treadmill at all.
Many thanks for your comment. It is always good to hear from you.
Gigi