Nowhere is humor more humorous than out of the mouths of babes.
Home was an easy five minutes’ walk away when I was in high school in Fiji. For my parents, it was a leisurely five-minute drive from their offices in Suva, the small capital. So lunch, like dinner, was also a family gathering around our food-laden mahogany dining table. Quite idyllic. I know.
Whilst enjoying lunch freshly prepared by our housegirl, who almost always lived with us and was an extension of our family, we would converse or listen to the radio, which back then was the medium of entertainment. Fiji did not have television until the nineties. All things considered, it was, as I said, a blissful incubation.
From Monday to Friday, at one o’clock, Kids Say The Darndest Things with Art Linkletter would feature on Fiji’s radio.
Linkletter would artfully and lovingly eke out the unlikeliest of utterances from these innocents, and they would have my father and I exchanging chuckles and giggles, sometimes even unstoppable tears of laughter.
It being Christmas, the season for celebrating joy and goodwill and love, I find that laughter is often the glue binding all three, because the simple act of laughing strips us to our bare childlike innocence, a pure spirit of joy and truth.
So in the spirit of that joyful laughter, I share with you something sent to me by an old Suva Grammar School chum – a list of what was penned by children when asked what they knew about the Bible, from which, of course, Christmas traces its roots. Please enjoy!
A: In the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
B: Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
C: Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
D: The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
E: Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
F: Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
G: The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
H: The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
I: Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. (One of my favorites!).
J: Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
K: The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
L: The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
M: St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
N: Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Come on, let’s face it. Christmas is for kids, and we’re all kids!
Merry Christmas everyone!